Hello hello! I know, it has been a long time since I posted anything here and if you notice, all of my other posts have disappeared. To be honest, I thought about shutting this blog down. I had a very rough end to 2013, and to be honest I wasn’t sure if I would ever come back. However, I thought about this blog constantly and the people who I have interacted with thanks to it and I knew I would eventually come back. I missed posting about my day to day happenings. I missed posting on my other blog to show how Noah has grown from an infant to a toddler, full of independence, curiosity and the desire to make mama pull her hair out.Ā
So I’m sure some of you are wondering why I was gone. Well, let me just say that marriage is hard. And when you marry someone from another culture, certain things may compound the problem. Then you add a new baby, stretched finances, lack of time and energy to the mix and what you get is a separation. Minsung and I separated in early October and I decided that I needed to leave in order to get some perspective for myself and decide whether I wanted to stay in this marriage or whether I wanted to cut my losses and go. Physically, emotionally, mentally…all the -ly(s), Minsung and I had never been so far apart before. Things were done by him and said by me that threatened to rip us apart permanently. Yet, here I am reporting that we are still together and fighting to get back to the happy couple we once were.Ā
I am not back to 100%. I still suffer from the lingering effects of post-partum depression. For a few weeks it was hard for me to even get out of bed in the morning. Noah would wake up and I would lay on the couch or the floor until my mom returned home from work. I found myself driving aimlessly praying for a sign for what to do. After being apart for a month, Minsung and I talked and decided to fight for our marriage, and so Noah and I returned home. I am currently looking for a job and working to salvage my grades for my masters program. Noah is continuing to flourish, though we have moved into the separation anxiety phase which is not fun in the least bit.Ā
I am working on reclaiming my identity, losing the baby weight which crept back up thanks to the craziness of the past few months and finding a job that I can feel at least partly proud of. This blog will still discuss what life is like being an African-American woman married to a Korean man, but it will also be expanded to include the fun I’ve been having with losing weight, growing my natural hair out and any other tidbits I find entertaining. I hope that I haven’t lost all of my audience in my absence and I look forward to catching up with everyone.
Chocolatekimchimama 
Such an amazing honest post! Marriage takes work and it has to involve two people who are willing to make that effort. I’m divorced and that was the best choice for us. While I respect marriage and those who choose to go that route I will never get married again. It’s not for me. Unfortunately I didn’t realize that until I got married! I admire the both of you and thank you for sharing your life with us! š
Thanks! Honestly I never thought I would ever get married and sometimes I’m still unsure, but giving it one last hurrah to try to make things work.
I honestly missed your blog and happy to hear that you’re alive and well! I hope that you will be able to work out all of obstacles in your path. Just know that someone is praying for you (idk if you’re a Christian or not), but either way know that you are in someone’s thoughts and that they’re rooting for you and your family. Hope to get an update soon! š
Thanks for your prayers and thoughts! I’ll be updating very soon!
Hi, Chocolatekimchimama! I am so glad you are doing ok! I thought you had gone back to Korea. I am so glad that you are trying to save your family. I know it isn’t easy considering all the pressures you have upon you. I just wanted to say that I am in your corner and I hope everything works out for you! Happy New Year! š
Thanks! I was actually scheduled to start working in Korea last November and my next post will talk about that and why I didn’t go.
Glad you’re back, though I’m sorry to hear about what you guys are going through. I completely understand how you feel & even though I’m some random stranger if you’d like to talk you can email me. Hope you guys come back stronger than ever.
Thanks hun!
I am a somewhat newreader. I’ve come across your blog a few times, but have been by more frequently lately. I am a young engaged lady and I have to say that reading about your experience is definitely an eye opener to me. My finance is African American and we have been together for almost 12 years. We just got engaged last year, but my fiance is going to take some time later this year to travel as a back packer and find his calling. it’s complicated for other to understand, but I understand him. It’s not surprising in the least since we have discussed taking off many times over the years as he is now set to do. It’s just come at an unsual time. I’d rather he go now than before we get settled into marriage. I’ve never had a serious relationship outside of this one and have never been on my own. So this is going to be a journey of self discovery. I’ll be focused on school and well me. I just pray that God we guide us in the right direction whether that means we come back together or realize a different. path. Good luck to you and I’ll be reading still.
Oh, we don’t have cultural differences as I am African American , too.
Welcome back š
Thank god that I checked this blog every so often. Otherwise, I would have missed out on another great story. Also Happy belated 2014 to you and your family.Honestly, I thought that your absence stemmed from you prepping up to Korea because you mentioned going there to work and live.
Anyways.. I seen your picture on your other blog. You look great, refreshed and youthful. Though I’m sorry about the struggles that you and Minsung are going through, you had to do what you had to in improving you and the marriage. Sometimes you need a rest and if you don’t it won’t help you or the marriage. You said it best about marriage ..the beauty and the beast of it. Too many people only look at the good parts of it which is ok but they forget that marriage is WORK. I was once engaged and when my mom,sister and good family lectured me about marriage, I’m not going to lie.. it scared me but it’s a reality that I swallowed. I was too young to be someone’s wife at the time but I still listen to their advice?
Speaking of different cultures, my ex was a Black man from West Africa. I remembered some of family friends being concerned about his culture far as me dealing with possible cultural differences that could have dictated our engagement. He knew that’s I was a Black American woman and he being Togolese . We treated each other as people. I think that my only 2 problems with him was with similarity to Min sung was a lack of family time ( mate time with me) and as I said too young too be married. I was 21at the time.
How are your 3 boys? I’m hoping that all is good with them .Keeping praying and ask for guidance .You’re holding up pretty well.
I’m glad to hear you’ll still be around, though I’m sorry you’ve been having a rough time lately. It must’ve been so tough, going through all that… Keeping you in my thoughts *hugs*
I hope things will get better. Just found out about your blog through black & yellow. Good luck!
Welcome back! Thank you for sharing your journey again!!!